Blog Post

If you don’t know what you want, how will you know when it’s here?

If you watched the free video series I created last month you already know how much I believe in getting very clear about what it is that you want (you can still check them out over here, I decided to leave them up). And, you may have heard by now that I am somewhat of a master manifester. Meaning, what I think about generally comes true.

So, I had noticed in the last months with creating new content, starting this new website, seeing clients and family over Skype since I live a continent and sea away, participating in various social media networks, watching movies, and keeping up with my shows, I was spending a tremendous amount of time on my computer. Which was great for building the online stuff, but not so great for face-to-face friendships, hands-on creative work, self care, physical health, and relationship. All things I put on my To Do List to remedy come October, once I had things launched and going as designed.

Well, as I have come to understand and expect, once I put ideas out there as to how I would like for my life to grow and change it comes to pass… generally not as I would imagine (it’s usually better) but also not as I would necessarily choose at the time. But it always brings me to the next point of growth, happiness, service and satisfaction. With that in mind, I try to stay open.


So, over the past let’s say 6 weeks here’s what I was asking for and how it found me.

‘I have a home that I love, which has space for art, love, and creation. It has a great energy, is welcoming to visitors, is warm, and fully represents the life I love.’


This answer to this one began in a sudden phone call from the gal my boyfriend and I had been subletting our place from, stating that she needed it back… ASAP. Thus, suddenly and unexpectedly, we had to find a new place ASAP. Which we did, rather remarkably, we got the first one we applied for (a miracle if you’re at all familiar with Berlin real estate). And have now moved in to a wonderful new situation.

What I have now is a beautiful, spacious apartment with gorgeous architectural details, which is in our name, no longer a sublet (a huge feat, especially for a foreigner who freelances)… plus all of the things I was asking for, just on a faster time line than expected or comfortable.


Great! Thank you! What else was on the wish list…

‘I have more time to spend with my friends and loved ones,’ ‘I create art,’ and also, ‘I only work during designated hours.’


So, first, my MacBook conked out. Which gave me a swift kick in to the ‘get off the computer’ dream. And with moving, our internet was out for about 3 weeks (just one of the sweet things about moving in Germany). Internet and online work time was relegated to hours spent in cafes with WiFi, as was Skyping with clients and family. It all became much more streamlined and planned. But, also less time on Social Media, which allowed a beautiful digital detox and a refocus in those directions. I went for lunch with friends, made things for my home, packed and unpacked, and even read a bunch of books (on my iPad, it’s how I get English books in Germany btw). Began new dreams, put pen to paper, cooked a lot of really great food.

At first annoying, I remembered this is actually what I wanted. Then I could easily sit in to it. I gave myself permission, since I’m the boss, to relax into it and trust that it was all going as it should. Not to resist or beat myself up about things outside of my control or desire. Enjoy the gifts that they were. Feel the flow of the beautiful bigger picture.

The most surprising and OLD wish that came true was to have a home where I could start from scratch, make things like rugs, lamps, pillows, and find/invent creative ways to organize and decorate my home.


Since we were subletting a furnished place, and I had moved across the world with just 2 suitcases of clothes… we/I had none of the stuff of a ‘home’. A home to me means a place where you keep the treasures you collect in life, to enrich, inspire, and find comfort in your things. And, since I had none that stuff that I had once collected (now in boxes for the most part, in my parents’ barn)… the expected and rather uninspired option was to head to Ikea and deck out the new flat. Blah.

(Keep in mind we also had to buy a refridgerator and other smaller appliances, which is standard in a rental in Germany.) So, this unplanned for move had quickly become ridiculously expensive. And, I had little desire to live in an Ikea showroom. When it dawned on me that I had this long time dream (since college really, so what like 20 years) which I was now in a position to realize! What an amazing dream come true! And rather than resisting, I am truly just enjoying the process of letting the home unfold in the ways that delight me to create… and I am super grateful to have a partner who simply requested that it feel like an ‘artist home’. I could do anything I want. Right-o. Let’s get making! (I’ll share photos on Instagram, if you want to follow: @marshtory)

And, as I saw all of these dreams lining up, and how the money streams were also lining up to support this big change. I properly got sick. Two times. What tends to happen for me when I hit my Upper Limits. The idea that when things get too good, we sabotage it somehow to bring ourselves back down to where it’s comfortable. I love busting through those! It takes us to the next level of what is possible in our business, life, and happiness.


There are a bunch of other smaller dreams, and magical manifestations that have been popping up during this time as well. But, I share these with you to illustrate that had I not been in the practice of clearly stating what I want, and then being vigilant with an open heart, mind, and eyes I could have easily mistaken these blessings for what they each felt like in the initial moment. Totally annoying challenges meant to set me back.

When seen from this other point of view, I can embrace them as exactly what I needed to move me to the next phase of my dream life.


It’s a simple practice, one that you can begin also… it just starts with asking yourself what do you want next? Maybe jot it down in a notebook, or write a wish on a piece of paper and keep it in a box. It’s fun to go back and see what wishes have come true.

Have fun, keep deciding, you can always refine the wish later.

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